I'm a little relieved and a little sad.
The Tyler home is now a
binka and bottle free zone. Sunday the 13
th I decided to take Max off his bottle. I never had to take Grace off the bottle, around 4 months she just decided she didn't want it anymore and ate baby food after that. But not Max, he loved it. He was drinking 5-6 bottles a day, and would hardly eat food. Plus he's such a picky eater - there were nights he didn't eat any dinner and just wanted his bottle. He also didn't want milk out of
sippy cup. He would drink water or juice in a cup - but if it was milk he just let it sit there. Well, Monday wasn't too bad, until the afternoon. He cried for about 6 hours straight for his "
bababababababa..." + I left his favorite blanket at my moms + he was starting to get a runny nose. I pick the week he's getting a cold to take him off? I must be crazy!
Tuesday he didn't cry for it at all. He was perfectly fine and slept through the night. I started thinking, okay. We're doing pretty good. Wednesday we took the kids to the dentist for the first time. They asked if Grace was a thumb sucker - I said no. Does she still have a pacifier? Um.. yeah... about that...
You may remember last winter when I took Grace's precious
binka away. She bawled for it for 5 months. She stole Max's every chance she got. She stole her cousins. She hid in the closet. In the night I'd go in her room and she would have taken Max's and be sucking on it. She is addicted. I hope she never starts smoking or drinking... I finally caved. We gave her a
binka for bedtime only. She did good for a while, then it became a
nap time/bedtime
binka. Then a
nap time/bedtime/car ride
binka. Then a
nap time/bedtime/car ride/ need it "so bad" time
binka. I would not let her have it during the day, or when we went places. But she always had it nearby.
Back to the dentist - They said it was pushing her top teeth forward and she had to be done. They suggest Max lose his too and that they had this nasty stuff they could paint on to the
binky's and the kids would give them up after a day or two. He said let them have it and let them make the decision to give it up. So we gave that a shot. The kids gagged, slobbered and cried. Grace cried for an hour. Max just kept trying it and gagging. Mike thought it was
hilarious, but it broke my heart. But Mike got his - he got some of the sick stuff on his finger without realizing it and put it in his mouth...
Well we barely made it through the fist night. Grace clutched
hers in her hand all night long. Thursday morning Max got a hold of his and gagged and threw up in my bed, so I threw it away. later that day I caught Grace with
hers in her mouth. I asked if it was gross and she said yes, but kept on sucking it. I told her to get it out of her mouth and she said, "The doctor said I could have it." And she was right, he had. But he also said it was so gross that they wouldn't keep it in their mouths! That night I took it out of her mouth three times, and then I threw it out. She cried Friday and Saturday for that thing. So I found another one and cut the whole nipple off of it. She carries the "broken
binka" around with her everywhere. I've caught her trying to suck it more than once.
Sunday my sister tried to tell her that she needed to put the broken
bink in an envelope and mail it to Santa for presents. Grace put it in the
envelope, and made it a few hours, before nervously saying, "Where's my
binka? I don't want presents!"
Yesterday she had a total breakdown at her Grandma's. She cried for over an hour - It was so sad. It's been almost a week now -and I'm just not sure what to do with her.
It's been crazy at the Tyler home. No bottles, no
binkas, Max and I have had a bad cold... and secretly wondering... The last week or so I have been so exhausted. I know I had a cold, but it seemed more than that, twice I actually took a nap in the middle of the day, and I'm not a napper. I was
nauseous, for days. And my boobs hurt so bad. I am probably the only person in the world that hates my IUD. I have never been so irregular. Slowly I began to wonder.
Grace will be three in January. Max will be 1 1/2 next month. Truly, I didn't want to have another baby right now. I simply don't know what we would do. Max was a
surprise and we love him dearly, but I am not ready for another surprise. Little parts of my thoughts started thinking about having another little baby, and a tiny little part of me starting thinking okay. If I am, we will just figure out a way.
But... my back didn't hurt. With Grace my back hurt. With Max, my back hurt for day 1. And so, I didn't really believe I was. But. Well, one does start to wonder- I took a test yesterday. It said No. Very clearly No. Relief. Relief. Relief. and a bit of sadness. One day, maybe in a year or two when my kids are a little more
independent. (And not crying over
binka's and
baba's.) One day. For now I'm just
grateful for my two!