Our new little one

We have a new little additon coming in the spring. And we are so excited! I am due May 16th and just can't wait to have a little late spring baby!

I wanted to write down my pregancy, but for obvious reasons dind't want to tell the world for a little while, so now that I'm officially 12 weeks I'll share some of the last few "hidden posts".

Day 1 - Written September 13th.

Literally, I've taken at least 20 pregnancy tests in the last 6 months. I learned I don't like being told no, and some months I would take 5-6 tests in three days, just in case they were wrong. I wanted to be pregnant so badly.

In November I felt the Spirit prompt me so hard that now was the time I needed to start trying, but we had a family vacation to Disneyland in March - and I've done that pregnant before - surely it could wait until March. I made the first available appointment to have my IUD removed after our vacation - and just knew I'd have a Christmas baby.

Growing up I had been told by doctors I may have a difficult time getting pregnant because of problems with cysts and endometriosis. But with Grace I went off birth control in April and found out I was pregnant on Mothers Day. With Max I was still on birth control - so I never dreamed I wouldn't be pregnant by April or May.

But I wasn't, and each month when I saw those negative pee tests it made me sad, and each month when I started my period I cried. I started to wonder if because I didn't heed the Spirit in November and December, I was being punished. In August I cried so hard - I know it had only been 5 months, and many, many people have waited so much longer, many never have their own and others struggle for years and years. I felt foolish for even feeling bad, but I did. I can't help it.

So many people I know have had babies in the last 6 months and I found myself so jealous of each of them. Some of them would complain and complain about being pregnant, only to complain and complain about their little babies, I wanted to scream "I want that!" Instead I didn't tell anyone until August. Mike knew and other than that every time someone asked if we were going to have another baby I just shrugged and said maybe someday, but not right now. I wanted so much to say, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Three days ago I became very nauseous and it won't go away- so when I woke up this morning I took a test. It was my last one. I promised myself I wouldn't take it until after my expected period, but I couldn't wait. After a 2 or 3 minutes or so there was only one pink line. I put it back in the wrapper and into the garbage can. I went about my day, cleaned, got the kids ready and took them to preschool.

I had a feeling to check the test again - and there it was, 2 PINK lines! I checked it again, yes. Tears started to flow and I fell to my knees and thanked Heavenly Father.I checked the test again later that day, and again in the evening, just to make sure but yes, two lines! I don't want to take a minute of this for granted, I've been blessed and I'm so happy and grateful!