Past deamons confronted

It's May 1989. It's hot. I remember the day, too well. In Cache Valley 4th and 5th graders from around the valley gather once a year to run the Wellsville mile. Students are bussed in, parents come to watch and they have an award ceremony in the town square. For the slow, fat girl that day was torture. I didn't like to run, I really wanted to be sick that day but my mom made me go.

Each grade raced 3 heats, I was in the slowest heat, which was fine by me. Did I mention how much I hated to run? I can still remember the anxiety I had over that stupid race. And you know what, as we lined up to run I kept thinking of all the ways I could get out of it, I could fall down, I could need to go to the bathroom, I could ..... but I didn't. And you know what, I came in dead last, in the slowest heat. That made me the slowest 4th grader in the whole southern part of Cache Valley. Truth be told, I was embarrassed, I remember crossing the finish line and feeling so dang stupid.

I remember the award ceremony and having all those "winning" kids get up and get their medals and wondering why they could run so fast. (They probably had a few less scoops of ice cream for breakfast that week ;)

Well, life went on. 5th grade came around and we prepared for the Wellsville Mile again. I had friends I ran with in PE, but I knew they were all faster than me, and they did too, and it was okay. But as the day approached that same old anxiety built up again. And my mom made me go again. But this time, as the 5th graders in the slowest heat lined up I was determined not to finish last. In fact, I had the perfect plan. `The runners gun went off and just as all the other runners started to run, I tripped the girl next to me. On purpose. I'm not kidding. She fell down and I pretended to fall over her. She scraped her legs and hands and was bleeding and I helped her up and to the 1st aid table. I pretended to limp, as if I'd hurt my ankle. By the time she was bandaged up and they'd checked my ankle the race had ended and neither of us had to run that dreaded Wellsville Mile. I remember thinking that I had done both of us a favor. I wonder if the girl I trip felt the same. Perhaps she was trying to improve on her time from the past year...instead she fell victim to my determination not to finish last.

Not once since that day have I ever tried to not finish last again. In junior high and high school I ran many Friday miles, with friends who all ran together, always as fast as their slowest person. I don't recall ever worrying about those miles.

Fast forward to 2011. It's no secret that the little fat girl grew into an overweight adult. It's no secret that I still DO NOT like to run. If someone told me I had to run a mile to avoid getting shot I probably would say shoot me now. (Or maybe I'd say lets go and trip them...) But recently I've had a desire to do a 5k. What the heck? I can't run a mile to save my life but I wanted to complete a 5k. I may need my brain examined.

Weight Watchers has a 5k each year, they call it the Walk It challenge. That sounds like my kind of 5k, no pressure to run and finish fast. So I thought about it for weeks before I finally said something to my husband about wanting to do it. I don't commit to things very well, so I had to be really, really, really sure I wanted to do it. Mike was very supportive and I started walking, the treadmill broke. The weather could not stay nice for more than a day and I did not practice near as much as I would have liked. I really didn't want to bring my kids, but we decided to walk it as a family. I had two goals, 1- to finish in under an hour. (You can gasp, my sister did when I said this was a goal, but for someone who hasn't walked more than the neighborhood, I figured a 20 minute mile was a pretty good goal.) and 2 - I didn't want to finish last. Everyone started at the same time, so I wanted to not be last for what looked like my age/weight range. I should have had a 3rd goal of not making anyone bleed, but I figured two goals was good enough.

The week leading up to the 5k was rainy, constantly and secretly I hoped Saturday would rain too so I'd have a reason to not go... but the weather couldn't have been better. The sun was out, the sky was blue and there was a nice breeze. I would guess about 300 people participated that day, maybe a few more. When we got there there was a group of 70+ year oldse getting together to walk it. Mike looked at me and said if they could do it, we can do it. In my head I though they must be mall walkers and do this everyday. We walked and the kids rode in the stroller. Mike was a great partner, we kept making goals of people to get in front of, the first people we wanted to pass were the girls in the purple shirts right behind us in the picture. We actually had a lot of fun, we finished in 52 minutes. I would guess we were right in the middle. It felt so good to finish a "race", not last, not hurting anyone and being able to say I did my first 5K was a good feeling!

Grace took over pictures at some point, it kept her entertained, by the time she was done she had 72 pictures...50 of them were of nothing but road, or some part of Max's head. She must have an ear fascination, but I don't know where she'd get that from!

(My sweet shoes, they are so comfortable. and they were at Khols, on sale. Imagine Khols having a sale.)

So no, I'm not ready to run a mile, and I probably never will be. But I just might try another 5k, again - I kind of liked it!